The very thought of mustering up energy to pretend to be interested in learning about somebody, engaging in small talk, and finding time to actually communicate is jusssssst….
Most Black people know the codeswitch is real. However, given historical, recent and continued events, my code switch is malfunctioning. Because I am often in white spaces, I am subjected to engaging in small talk and light banter not only in person but via email. But in this day and age, it’s as if Sweet Brown’s voice is constantly playing in my ear “Ain’t nobody got time for that.”
Today, I am struggling to breathe. There is a heavy lump resting in my throat, and a wall pressing against my chest. Even in my attempts to take deep breaths, the lump does not move, and the wall continues to push.
In recent years I have seen many videos or depictions of people’s first experience in a Black church. Now, usually it is a white person, like Gary Owen, sharing his experience of the Black church, but it is typically always in comparison to white church.
On Saturday evening, the eve of Mother’s Day, we were graced by neo-soul/R&B royalty. We witnessed a battle, rather a homage of epic proportions as we reminisced and grooved to the queens that are Jill Scott and Erykah Badu.
Let’s talk about weight. So, I am a solid size 16 on most days. I have vacillated between a size 14-18 since I was in the 8th grade. Needless to say, I’m a big girl – thick girl –plus size - full figured – queen sized - thickums. Since I was almost 10 pounds when I was born, let’s just say I have a lot of experience in this area. Basically, I ain’t new to this, I’m true to this.
It’s interesting to me the narratives that are created about Black women. We’re too loud. We have bad attitudes. We’re catty. We’re gold diggers, hood rats, and the list goes on and on and on.
Communication clashes can occur in any type of relationship: family, friend, partner, colleague, etc. However, they don’t have to result in wars or signal the end of the relationship.
What do you do when you’re sitting in the house? As many of you have found out in this quarantine – you eat!
When the music stops, and the fun is gone, Black Women are left with the weight of actually being everything to everybody.
We have become so accustomed to responding to circumstances and completing tasks, that we aren’t always aware of the impact of the grieving process on our functioning.
Whether you choose to do a written journal or an audio journal, it is important to have an outlet to release your thoughts. Thoughts are powerful and influence our emotions and behaviors, which impacts our relationships with ourselves, others, and the environment.