Alter Ego

A while back Key and Peele did a sketch in which Peele was President Barack Obama and Key was his anger translator. (Definitely something you wanna watch) Although my inner dialogue is typically more direct, blunt and maybe even harsher than my actual statements, now more than ever my anger translator or alter ego, has taken the front seat.

Most Black people know the codeswitch is real. However, given historical, recent and continued events, my code switch is malfunctioning. Because I am often in white spaces, I am subjected to engaging in small talk and light banter not only in person but via email. But in this day and age, it’s as if Sweet Brown’s voice is constantly playing in my ear “Ain’t nobody got time for that.”

In the past, if I were questioned about a statement or stance after I made myself abundantly clear, I might respond with something like, “let me provide clarification.” Now my alter ego, my homegirl in my head, affectionately named Bonsheika would say, “I said what I said” or “this idiot here.” However, recently, even I have to admit, I been tripping. Below are four recent interactions in which Bonsheika showed up and showed out.

1.       In a meeting with my colleagues, as we were discussing the murders of Black people by police officers and the resulting trauma to the Black community, the leader of the group, my superior asked, “what should we do?” Bonsheika responded, in a rather loud voice, “figure it out!”

2.       In another meeting, with members of an organization of which I belong, the leader wanted to give space to anyone who might want to share. She then singled out the two Black people on the call. I said, “why are you singling me out?” She fumbled but the conversation continued with folks making absurd statements and chiiiillldddd Bonsheika had enough. Let’s just say she served a full scale, top notch, with gravy, hot sauce, Lawry’s and Old Bay READ.

3.       At an event I co-hosted, someone asked, “what do you think about the video of a person removing a blue-lives matter sticker on their car and replacing it with an American flag?” Bonsheika, “I think they replaced one racist symbol for another, next question.”

4.       And finally, shout out to Bonshieka for all of the “I’m so sad” and “are you okay?” and “what can I do?” emails and texts from white colleagues that she ignored over the past ten days. She not about that light banter life.

I have received a few messages from Black folks asking for advice on ways to respond to white people asking for help during these times. See above. And if you need to talk to Bonsheika for some tips, her office hours are from 9 to 5. Stay healthy, stay whole and remember to #mindyourmentalhealth.